Power Moms Unite

ADHD beats on family relationships. Through the emotional outbursts and frustration of constantly feeling as though we are at battle for compliance over homework and chores, parents and children alike, often struggle to find peace at home. As a mom, I find that feeling devastating- I want my home to be a refuge for all of us. No activity or product can completely “fix” family dynamics – there is no quick fix- but some can help the hurried parent to lay groundwork for opportunities to share laughter and peaceful conversation between children, siblings and parent(s). Those islands of peace and community can help get us overcome the rough spots of our day and our relationships.

Consistently, research has shown that children, who share dinner with their family on a regular basis, are at lower risk for drug abuse and teen pregnancy. Being that kids with ADHD, who have not been treated, are at even greater risk for drug abuse and unwanted teen pregnancy and venereal disease, it behooves us to inoculate are children from as much risk as possible. Unfortunately, this family dinner can be an extreme challenge for parents managing a houseful of ADHD. As a parent with ADHD, it can be hard to organize all the schedules, to stay energized to make a sit-down dinner, and overwhelming to imagine managing kids who are acting out during a time of day we are running low on patience. For the child with ADHD, dinner can be difficult to sit through, and for the sibling without ADHD, it can be stressful to witness the tension of the meal. Consider the following products to help you overcome some hurdles toward that family dinner you envisioned when you first imagined having a family. They won’t fix family dynamics, but they can give structure and novel experiences to dinner that can increase family fun and lower tension to give a starting point for improving dynamics.

Table Topics is an acrylic box of cards that acts as conversation starters. …So stylish, it can sit out on your kitchen counter or table ready for prompting a novel conversation. Card sets vary from a family version, to teens, to adults. Family version questions include, “What is the story behind your name,” and “If you could change any rule, what would it be and why?” You may be saying to yourself, “I can come up with that.” The advantage to this set is someone has already but it together for you.

The Namits Junior Game is designed for kids ages 3 and up and designed more for language building skills. This game has a ring of 24 colorful, waterproof, tear-proof cards that holds 150 categories of thinking prompts. Depending on the ages of your family thought provoking questions may be too difficult and frankly boring, but a game may be easy to access and fun. Deep conversation is not required to provide the risk reducing benefits of family dinner, just community and fun.

Bannagrams is a compact game of scrabble-like pieces that individuals use to build their own crossword board. First person finished wins. This game can be played by large families (average large, not Duggar –size) but requires that all kids can read and spell. Obviously this is a game that can be played while out to dinner or while family members wait for dinner to get to the table. Again, it acts a distraction and is always novel.

Other activities to consider for family dinners include the question game and one-minute speeches. During the Question Game, parents provide a topic and ask the kids to come up with as many questions about it as possible. Record the questions and encourage the kids to pursue answers to their questions. Schedule another dinner in which the kids provide the answers to their earlier questions.

For One-Minute Speeches, parents put topics on small pieces of paper and ask kids to chose one and then give a one-minute speech on the topic. Parents should be prepared to lead by example and volunteer to give the first speech. Be sure to recycle the topics papers, for another “ready-to-go” speech dinner.

If all else fails, ask each child and parent to identify the best or worst part of his or her day. Just having all of their siblings’ and parents’ attention after a long day is empowering to children and helps to get everyone’s night off on a better foot.