Power Moms Unite

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times, families with ADHD have to be expert apologizers!  Impulsive behavior just naturally leads to quick tempers, misinterpreted situations, speaking before editing, and acting before reviewing.  Learn how to apologize.  Teach your kids how to effectively apologize- it will be a lifelong gift!

Body Posture. When offering an apology, turn and face the person to whom you are speaking.  Yes, it is hard.  Talk to your child about courage and bravery.  Courage is not just for soldiers, fireman, and superheros, it’s for little and big kids and adults too! It takes tremendous bravery to stand up to an adult or superior and admit a mistake- stand like a hero- back tall and arms at your sides- looking at whom you are talking.

Facial expression.  Though conflict can naturally make some people anxiously smile and avoid eye contact, others scowl.  Try not to do either.  Look directly at the person as you speak honestly about your mistake, and make your apology.  Have kids practice giving their apology in the mirror, they can watch themselves and see how their scowl affects them as they apologize.

Tone of voice. You can ignite anger or invite cooperation with a tone of voice.  Keep your apology voice soft and tone heartfelt.  Too sweet or too loud sounds insincere.  Model apologies with different voice tones to your kids so they understand how the tones sound when hearing them- ask how do they feel when your tone is harsh, when it is soft spoken, etc.  Consider using a voice recorder so kids can record themselves and practice their apology and hear their own tone.

Apologizing Words. Apology without excuses.  No ifs, ands or buts.  If an apology goes long, it probably means you are giving an excuse as well.  Give your child repeatable slogans they can work into an apology to minimize the chance of offering a reason or excuse- make apologizing effortless.  “I am sorry I….  Is there anything I can do to help repair the damage?”