Power Moms Unite

Like it or not, if you live with ADHD, you are going to have to become an expert rift repairer, know expert apology strategies to repair friendships, engender forgiveness, and extend acceptance.  As a parent and your child’s model, teaching how to repair a rift, begins with you.  Unlike with other kids, the process of repairing a rift after several mistakes, has to be overtly taught.

1)    Own your behavior without excuses.  No “ifs, ands, or buts.”

2)    Give your child repeatable slogans they can work into an apology to make apologizing effortless.  “I am sorry I….  Is there anything I can do to help?”

3)    Always offer an action, as part of the apology. “Mom, I am sorry I broke your lamp.  I would like to I pay for a new one out of my allowance.”  “Charlene, I am sorry I broke your pen, would like to have mine?” “Katie, I am sorry I hit you, can I get you a piece of ice for your arm?”  For parents apologizing, ask your child to do an activity with you, that has nothing to do with the conflict, even if they resist.  It will help break the tension.

4)    Teach the importance of KISSing your apology. Keep It Short and Sweet. Do not go on and on with an apology.  If you need to, you are likely adding an excuse.

5)    Use humor to break tension. “ Remind me to leave that Mommy-monster in the car trunk tomorrow.”

6) Stay with it. Time repairs many rifts.  Continue to be open to the person you have offended, even if the reception to your apology is cool.  Often people need some time to recover from their own hurt feelings, before they can accept a friend fully back into the fold.  Be prepared that some rift repairs take time.

Illustration by Keith Noordzy, http://keithnoordzy.blogspot.com