Power Moms Unite

“Own it before someone else does,” advice I recently gave my son, new to lacrosse.  Fearing ridicule from his more advanced peers, my 9 year old son was lamenting choosing to start the game of lacrosse.  “Mom, so many of my friends are really good at catching and throwing the lacrosse ball.  They have been playing for years.  What am I going to do when I have to play them and they find out I stink?”

My response was simple, “Own it before they do.”  (Okay maybe not so simple -I was fighting my desire to advise him on how good practice will earn his peers’ admiration.  I decided to address his concerns this time, instead of using a patented mother mantra- which is admittedly easier and less complicated.)  I went with “acknowledge your issues before they have an opportunity to comment.”  Publicly recognizing your personal “elephant in the room.”  You could even make a joke about yourself being a poor lacrosse player.  There isn’t much they can add, and as an added bonus- you get credit for being a good sport for laughing at yourself.  We then brainstormed a variety jokes and approaches he could take to acknowledge his lack of skill.  A few I have included below:

The Acknowledgement: “Guys, I am just gonna warn you, I am a newbie.”

Sincerity with a touch of sarcasm: “You guys will be kind to the new guy, right?”…followed by wide toothy grin…

The Compliment: “Guys, I am really struggling to catch the ball- do you have any good advice or techniques?  How did you get so good at it?”

The Joke: “ I am so bad at lacrosse, my coach asked if I knew there was a net at the top of my stick.”

The “own it before some else does” principle applies to making mistakes too. I recently ranted on my PowerMom Journal blog about “house damage.”  Some of my frustration with the kids was fueled by the lack of ownership my children took- a lack of accountability for their actions both with their possessions, as well in our relationship.  “Own it before someone else does” has become a code phrase my kids utter to each other when something is broken or damaged.

Think about it. As the individual who made the mistake when you own “it,” you take back some control of the situation.  You decide when you will explain what you did.  You decide what you will say to apologize.  You lessen opportunities for someone to misinterpret what happened or read motives into your actions that are simply not your intention.

It’s a simple phrase,  even catchy-  “Own it before someone else does.”  It can put you back in charge, when you feel like you have lost all your control.