The Joy of ADHD?

At my house there are 4 children diagnosed with hyperactive attention deficit disorder and one toddler who loves to imitate their behavior. My house is the house you read about in those inspirational emails, sent to make a mother of 3 boys to help her feel better about her boys’ behavior and her parenting style.

Yes, I really have had a 3 year old swing from the kitchen chandelier, let alone had fan blades thrown from a moving ceiling fan while stuffed animals were tied to its blades. I have had my 6 and 9 year olds race each other up twin 50 foot evergreens, only to wave to me from the top of those swaying trees, as I stood at a second story window scanning the yard for them. My kids bite when their angry with each other, and no they aren’t three, they’re nine and seven. My six year old has jumped in a pool fully clothed, overwhelmed by excitement to see his friends already in the pool. My kids tell me they hate me, even curse at me, in one moment and can’t stop hugging me in the next. These same kids have enthusiasm that is infectious. They have a love of learning as well as a love for people and life. They can read three books at the same time and keep the story lines straight. They can focus on a science project, and spend a full weekend researching excruciatingly complex details about planets. They can do elaborate math problems in their heads. They love intensely, smiling and greeting classmates’ mothers as warmly as they greet me. They have a can-do attitude, no matter the obstacle so obviously in their path. They love life to its fullest…So my point?

Depending on how you view it, attention deficit disorder might set our family apart from most, settling a cloud of angry frustration and misunderstanding over us all as we struggle to rein in impulses, control our tempers, and stay focused on a boring task. Let’s face it, most families who have never experienced attention deficit disorder, see those of us who have, as lazy, inconsistent, undisciplined parents of loud and wildly unruly kids. It’s hard to remain upbeat and positive when your peers convey such low opinions of your kids and your parenting abilities.

I’m here to reassure you. Attention deficit is not the end of your world or your child’s. It does not mean they grow up and end in jail, the conclusion I came to when one of my children was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. Every child and family has some obstacle to overcome, some weakness to be managed, some personality flaw to be “tweeked.” In our case, its ADHD and all the loud outbursts, broken windows, lost paper, misread directions, pulled fire alarms, and forgotten homework that goes with it. Our issues are often displayed publicly, making those issues difficult to neatly swept under the proverbial rug. Our issues take a tremendous amount of skill to manage. Like a diabetic who has to learn how to monitor his blood, manage his diet, modify his exercise routine, we as parents, have to teach our children how to manage their disease, ADHD. We have to modify how we do things, how we organize, how much we chose to pursue as a family, or as an individual, all in an effort to manage this disease. We have to accept it, adapt to minimize it’s damaging effects, and then achieve to our potential, both parent and child. The goal of this site is to help you learn about ADHD and empower you to manage ADHD, so you can experience your children and your own life as joyful. There may be no joy in having ADHD, but there is joy in mastering the management of it, for both parent and child!

2 Responses to “The Joy of ADHD?”

1. Trista Robertson says:

   March 16, 2010 at 10:48 pm

   Hello, My daughter has ODD, Conduct Disorder, ADHD and RAD. It takes all of my energy from day to day and it’s only her. You are very strong. Hang in there.
   ~Trista
2. zaklady sportowe says:

   May 20, 2010 at 6:06 pm

   Excellent article i’m sure that i will come back here again